I want my life back


The world promises the young a future filled with joy and pleasurable things. All they need to do is accept the ways and means laid before them; education, work, effort. Jobs, careers, and positions of wealth and esteem are attained by those willing to make the necessary commitments.

Progress is not always easy and decisions are not always clear. The road ahead is not straight and unobstructed. For the determined individual, nothing appears unattainable.

But the world is a fickle collaborator. A few years ago I found myself standing in front of a “Dead End” sign on the road I’d been traveling. My illustrious career had come to an end. For many years I had been a well-respected and highly-paid software consultant. One day that career was over. The doors that had been opened were closed. My skills no longer held value in the marketplace.

It seemed I was not alone in this, the economy was declared a disaster shortly after my roadblock appeared. I can assure you there is no comfort in hearing that everyone else is experiencing similar difficulties. To hear that my extensive experience and ability was now worthless to the world was strange, to say the least. To learn than none, not a single one, of the many systems and programs I’d created over the years were still in existence is an eye-opening revelation.

I now understand what Jesus meant when he said, “For him that hath, to him shall be given; and he that hath not, from him shall be taken even that which he hath.” I had given my life to the world and when it had used me up, it tossed me away.

What would I say if the world were listening? I’d tell it I want my life back. Those years were filled with enthusiasm, passion, loyalty, and a desire to grow in proficiency and wisdom. I could be angry that my later years are not as I imagined. But I will not. The world has consumed my labor but it has not diminished my spirit.

The world is filled with expectations. It wants what we have. It asks us to commit our bodies and minds to the works it thinks are important. It tells us that we are significant, that our labors have meaning, that our destiny lies just over the horizon. But the world will never be satisfied, no matter how much we give.

The world can never appreciate the true depth and value of a human being. It has no heart, no means to feel. It is merely a machine, an empty vessel trying to fill itself up with the goodness that we carry within us.

It is our living heart that brings light into the human mind. It is for humanity that we work, that we give of ourself. It is only our humanity that can sustain us, protect us, nurture us. The world tells us that it will give us safety, that it knows the way to Peace and Plenty. But it knows nothing of life. It can only consume life. It gives us a rut to walk in that leads nowhere but to our demise and death.

But where is our life if not in the world? It can be found within us. It is what we bring. We have it and it cannot be taken away from us. The world is broken. But humanity is not. We have the heart. We have the life. We know the way. It is within us. The answer is within.

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