I was devoted to a girl in high school.  I adored her.  She had a lot of boyfriends, I wasn’t one of them.  Whenever one of her boyfriends mistreated her she’d come to me for comfort.  I asked her out often.  One day during our final year of high school she said, “yes.”  There was a new movie playing at the drive-in.  I picked her up in my mom’s station wagon on Friday night.  She was waiting for me with a friend, another boy from school.

She sat next to me in the front seat and he on the other side.  When we got to the drive-in she asked me to pay his admission too.  I did.  They sent me to the concession stand for popcorn and drinks.  I paid.  Soon after the movie started they climbed into the back.  It was hard to focus on the movie listening to the sounds of them having sex in the back of the car.

Sometime that night I came to the conclusion that she didn’t really care about me.  The next time she called for comfort, I didn’t come running.  I wasn’t angry with her.  I was mad at myself.  How could I have been so blind for so long?

It’s easy to get swept away by the power of our emotions.  Love is an excellent excuse for foolishness.  For a long time I was the weaker sex in the relationship game.

After that night I resolved to never be anyone’s door mat again.  But we must remember that the pendulum swings both ways.  I was in college when I realized that a steady stream of one-night stands does not create a win-win in the relationship game either.  A healthy relationship requires two conditions.  We must be able to recognize the full worth of ourself and also of our partner.

Every relationship is a balancing act.  It’s like walking a tightrope.  You’re always on the verge of falling, teetering one way or the other.  That teetering is the give and take within the relationship.  One person gives a little, the other takes a little.  In the end the relationship remains in balance.

I’ve been taken advantage of many times in my life, personally and professionally.  If you’re going to attempt to live a full and meaningful life you may find it impossible to avoid negative relationships altogether.  I suppose the most effective solution is to be able to recognize them quickly and get out as soon as possible.

I met my wife while I was in the army.  We dated for five years before we got married.  During that time we became great friends.  Love will be tested many times through the course of a relationship.  I believe our marriage has lasted because of our friendship.

Lovers quarrel.  Friends persevere.