I have a scar on my leg. About 12 years ago, I was dragging a steel tractor wagon out from behind a shed. Overgrown weeds made my task more difficult. My efforts disturbed a nest of hornets which quickly surrounded and began stinging me. I quickly let go of the wagon which fell and scraped against my bare leg, leaving behind a large gash. I made it back to the house with a few welts from the bees and my leg covered in blood.
Now I have a scar to remind me of that day. The memory is there, but the pain is long gone. We live in a physical world. The marks on our bodies are a testament to our experiences. Time heals our wounds.
We live in an emotional world too. The stings and cuts from the words and deeds of others can also cause us to feel pain. Time is there to heal those wounds also. If we allow it.
I know a woman who carries an emotional scar from an incident that occurred more that 15 years earlier. Each time she is reminded of that, the memory returns along with all of the pain. I can hear it in her voice, see it in her eyes, and feel it spreading throughout her being. She is overcome with the pain of that memory.
It would make no sense for me to tear open my scar and poke myself with pins each time I remembered that incident with the wagon. The memory is sufficient. Re-experiencing the pain is pointless. Yet, that is, in essence, what my friend is doing with her emotional wound.
Our mind is a powerful tool. It matters little whether our thoughts are of something real or imagined. To recreate an incident in our mind brings with it the emotions of that event. This is more than a remembrance. It is a re-living and re-experiencing of the pain itself, as if it were physically happening again this very moment.
Our imagination serves us best when we look forward, not back. Put your thoughts to worthwhile use by envisioning that which you actually want. Give your feelings over to positive thoughts. Create your life as you want to live it, first in your mind’s eye, and then in reality. Use the full power of your mind to move yourself forward, never backward.
It really doesn’t matter who was wrong or negligent, or who got or didn’t get what they deserved. What is important is that we heal. Only then can we truly move forward. Only then will we be at peace within ourself.